Relationship OCD, or R-OCD, is a subtype of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) that specifically involves obsessions and compulsions related to intimate relationships. People with ROCD experience intrusive and distressing thoughts, doubts, and uncertainties about their romantic relationships. These thoughts can center around fears of not being in love, concerns about the partner's suitability, or worries about the relationship's future.

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Common features of R-OCD:
 

1. Intrusive Thoughts: Individuals with R-OCD often experience persistent, unwanted thoughts that question the authenticity or quality of their romantic relationship, thoughts that they do not find their partner attractive, no longer love them, are not a good fit for each other, that they're lying to themselves, or that they have "morally cheated" in some way by finding someone else to be attractive or by e.g., having a sexual dream about someone else. These thoughts can be distressing and may lead to a false sense of doubt and credibility, prompting ongoing anxiety.
    

2. Compulsive Thoughts/Behaviours: To alleviate the anxiety caused by obsessive thoughts, individuals with ROCD may engage in various compulsive behaviours. These can include seeking reassurance from their partner or others, engaging in mental compulsions (read more here) by constantly analysing the relationship, engaging in internal mental debates with their mind, engaging in compulsive hypothesis testing (e.g., picturing their partner and seeing if they find them to be attractive), comparing their relationship to others, avoiding situations that trigger distress, or engaging in compulsive confession of any thought they have had about the relationship "I am worried I don't find you attractive", or "I saw an attractive woman when I walked down the street and I checked her out". The OCD taunts the individual "sure, your partner did not care about the fact you looked at that attractive woman, but did you tell her every detail of the memory, how can you be certain that they would be okay with it when they were not there to witness it - you need to confess every detail possible to ensure its okay".
   
   Other compulsions common to this presentation of OCD might involve compulsive attention and somatic checking for signs of genital stimulation when they see someone that fear being attracted to, or the inverse: testing if they are aroused by their partner. However this compulsive testing of their reaction brings ambiguous results in both scenarios, where bringing attention to the genitals to scan for signs of arousal can inadvertently create arousal ("oh no its true, I am aroused by that person" or the inverse: trying to test if you are aroused by your partner with the pressure of the OCD will likely be an anxiety provoking situation where arousal is less likely to occur. 
    

3. Fear of Making the Wrong Decision/Doubting Judgement: There is a heightened fear of making the wrong decision about the relationship, leading to uncertainty and distress. This fear can impact daily life and decision-making processes. When reassurance seeking becomes a dominant coping strategy, individuals may struggle with making decisions independently. The constant need for external validation hinders their ability to trust their judgment. Excessive reassurance seeking may also foster dependency on others for managing anxiety. This can strain relationships and create an unhealthy dynamic where the individual relies on external validation to cope with obsessive thoughts. Despite seeking reassurance repeatedly, individuals with OCD find that the doubts and anxieties persist. This realisation contributes to frustration and a sense of helplessness, perpetuating the cycle of compulsive reassurance seeking. Relying heavily on reassurance from others undermines an individual's sense of self-efficacy and confidence in handling life's uncertainties independently.
    

4. Impact on Relationships: R-OCD can significantly affect the quality of romantic relationships. The constant doubt and anxiety may strain the relationship, as the person with ROCD seeks reassurance or engages in behaviours that can be misconstrued as controlling. E.g., their partner might receive a text message, and then the sufferer of OCD experiences an intrusive thought "you have to know what that text message said, or you will be stuck on that thought forever" prompting them to compulsively request their partner reveals the content of the text, even if the OCD sufferer has no actual concern to know what the text said. As well, as result of compulsive confession, partners without an understanding of OCD might misconstrue the compulsive behaviour "maybe I'm not attractive to them anymore after all". Further, the significance placed on the intrusive thoughts by the OCD sufferer means they might e.g., sit their partner down to confess some "relationship sin" that is actually only an obsession (e.g., "I find my colleague to be attractive"), where the partner may experience this confession as more significant than it really is "the fact that they're sitting me down to confess this, must mean maybe it really is a significant issue and is not a harmless attraction to someone, they must not want to be with me anymore". This can create a vicious cycle where even the partner without OCD may come to care about things confessed to them that they previously would not have thought twice about, due to the false sense of credibility the act of confession gives to the "issue" confessed.
    

5. Insight: Some individuals with R-OCD are aware that their thoughts and fears are irrational, but they find it challenging to control them. Others may believe their concerns are valid, further complicating the situation.